“What is the difference between our approach and our earlier generations’ approach in disciplining children? What our parents and grandparents did was done with authority; what we do is done with hesitation. Even when in error, they acted confidently. Even when in the right, we seem to act with doubt. Where does our hesitation come from? Child psychologists have warned us about the costly consequences of an unhappy childhood, and we are deeply concerned that we may damage our children for life.”
Dr Haim G. Ginott
I have often felt paralysed by a feeling of inadequacy or ignorance as to the right way to handle a child or a situation. Something that seems to help me is this pattern of controlling myself and then the environment. It is never about controlling the child.
Controlling the environment comes down to two main things.
1) Creating an atmosphere of love in the home.
2) Permitting feelings but limiting actions.
Under this section of controlling the environment you will see how we have tried to do these two things.